Life

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no mud no lotus.jpg

It’s pouring right now. I am at home with my tea cup sitting on a coaster on the window sill next to me enjoying the sensory deprivation from all other sounds save the water dropping onto the floor and other surfaces.

It is 2017 and another life change is upon my family. That is what I am calling this now: a life change, not a tragedy. I am remarking to myself how different people react to life events differently. For instance, I have taught Special Education for a few years now and there are many mothers who are deeply depressed, hopeless and bitter by the fact that their child / children has/ have special needs. Then there are mothers who are so unbelievably loving, idealistic, generous and happy; you wouldn’t believe it! Life is truly what one makes of it. Maybe there aren’t any real tragedies in life: just mud (the messy yet nourishing events that one must suffer through) and lotus (the blossoms and growth that make us smile)…No real tragedies…just mud and lotus…transitions or life changes, albeit sometimes heart-wrenching, that come with the everyday lives of every being whether old, young, rich or poor.

Slowing Down

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I am looking forward to a long weekend of sipping hot teas, listening to the living room clocks tick and the pitter-patter of rain falling on the skylight. I have much to think about… And much to love about finally being able to sit in silence. Last Sunday, I finally got two hours alone with the piano. I’d like that again this weekend. I’d like to do my yoga and spend time visiting with my parents… All of the things I haven’t taken time to do yet this week…

February Progress Report on My Resolutions

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self-careIt’s February 5th. My thought yesterday was that I failed my January target habit. My seemingly ever-positive boyfriend pointed out, “You’ve gone to bed by 9 PM more times this month than you ever have in your life.” I realize he may be right. I have made progress this January. I have gone to bed by 9 PM on at least 4 days per week and been exercising almost every day.

The main changes I made to my life that helped with January’s target habit are:

-Sleeping with the cell phone in the kitchen instead of the bedroom.

-Wearing workout pants daily instead of jeans or slacks. One step less to get met to the gym!

-Placing clothes appropriate for both work and gym by my alarm clock to put on when I awaken.

-Replacing journaling as the habit to address anxiety over reading random items online on my phone.

The feeling of destressing through exercise has helped me to get out of bed early and to get to bed early. Monday evenings have been Pilates. Tuesday and Thursdays have been grueling workouts at 5 AM or 4 PM at the gym. I’ve been doing an hour or more of yoga on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I want to start running more on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday mornings. I recently found out one of my coworkers has the same running schedule but she has been working out a lot less than I have due to having to take care of a sick husband and kids. We intend to meet up to run three mornings per week, which should help with my motivation: motivating another. Hiking has been less frequent lately. I’ve been trying to reserve Sundays for hiking with my mom but our sleep schedules just haven’t matched up and weather hasn’t been great. I think I need to be more gung-ho about going outside on Sundays because it is motivation for me to go to and get out of bed. My recent car problems have not helped. I suppose that, for now, I will stay in on Sundays and try to be self motivated until I make the effort to purchase a new car in about a month. Or I could just do local trails on good weather days and yoga indoors on non-good weather days. I am not feeling ready to start my February target goal as of yet until I increase the percentage of days I meet my January goal by just a tad.

I have been feeling a ton of stress at work and at home due to the health of my aging parents, the ever increasing demands of very needy parents, the ever increasing number of aides under my supervision… They are preparing me to take on only the kids with the severest disabilities next school year and each student will have his or her own aide! And then I learned some new secrets yesterday that made me realize how many people must be struggling with much more difficult problems than I have ever had inside. It’s time that I see how wonderful my life is: from the school garden I finally had planted to the many doors open to me now. And to warm dinners at my dad’s to at least having a chance at Sundays with a healthy mom. That’s more than some people will ever have because life is short. I thought his life was perfect but I guess no one’s life is perfect no matter how it may appear. To those of you out there struggling through life’s daily difficulties, I have this message:

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Do you ever feel like your work life is more rewarding and engaging than your personal life?

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Do you ever feel like your work life is more rewarding and engaging than your personal life? My brother says he finds both boring! Yikes! I guess I have at least one part of my life engaging for me! Aside from my morning yoga practice, I don’t look forward to much outside of work. Time to spice it up and make some changes! 😀 Suggestions?

 

By the way, I know this is a short post, but I just posted three blogs to catch up for my lack of blogging on my foodtrek website. Hope all is well out there with you and yours! Happy Lunar New Year!

2017 Resolutions

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Dear Friends and Families,
Please help me with my New Year’s Resolutions by asking how I am doing on my Goal/ Habit of the Month whenever you can and providing strong words of encouragement or punishment, depending on how I am doing! Thanks! I appreciate you and your help!
2017 Habit Goals in Order of Adoption

January- Go to bed by 9PM daily.

February- Practice yoga for at least 5 minutes daily.

March- Meditate daily.

April- Spend at least 5 minutes cleaning/ organizing the classroom daily.

May- Spend at least 5 minutes cleaning/ organizing the house daily.

June- Practice piano for at least 20 minutes daily.

July- Read or write for at least 5 minutes daily.

August- Prep for next day before going to bed daily.

September-Cook/ Prep food for next day before going to bed daily.

October- Exercise 5-7 days per week.

November-Study Spanish for at least 5 minutes per day daily.

December- Study Chinese for at least 5 minutes per day daily.

Music

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When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

As the sun sets tonight, I find myself feeling sadness.

I’ve been wanting to write for some time now. I have so many thoughts and questions in my head…

It was my yoga teacher’s last day today. I don’t understand why I feel so sad about this! He’s moving…Not dying! I guess emotions aren’t always rational…

There’s a quiet…a stillness in the house save the shadows of the windblown trees silhouetted in the swiftly fading golden light of the setting sun outside and my mind drifts to other events that help wrap the blanket of sadness around me tighter….

The odd one-word text message from my best friend who isn’t picking up her phone today, “patentductusarteriosas.” It scares me. Does it mean this is the condition of her youngest child?

About a week ago, I heard from a ghost… Text messages for two days from someone I haven’t heard from in the seven years since our divorce. This last week, his mother and sister traveled the long distance to go see him. I think something is wrong and have to accept that there is still nothing I can do even after all of these years. I am not sure why he reached out to me as if there was something I could do about his troubles. I could never fix him before and don’t have the power to do so now. I didn’t tell his family he had contacted me in case of any assumptions his wife might harbor.

And so this thought of relief washes over me…I can’t control it. I have no control over any of this… No control over if people I like move away, if children may struggle with heart conditions and over whether my ex is resilient enough to pick himself back up…And I am okay with that because if I could foresee those events, I wouldn’t have been pleasantly  surprised by all of the moments that brought wonderment and happiness to my life this week: taking my mom to her first bowling game, playing with my nephews, meeting several new workout partners and making a few new friends, reconnecting with old friends … So many things… I like life as it is: unpredictable….capricious…melodious at times and cacophonous at other times…

Update: My friend’s text was accidental and for work, not regarding her kids at all. Phew!

The Unknown

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The school year draws to an end once more. There are 3.5 days left and I am feeling euphoric.

Tonight I attended a district recognition dinner. One of the employees is retiring after a staggering 41 years! I can not imagine staying any one place so long but who knows?

I am enjoying the end of this school year as I see so many unforeseen occurrences yet to come! I am excited  by the unpredictability of life!

This year, I ran my first 10 k and then stopped exercising. Yikes! Need to get back on that…. I got closer to my immediate family by spending time with them. This is the year that my class got so large in numbers, it was split mid-year, which has never happened to me! I thought people didn’t listen to teachers but my principal stepped in and helped us split up several classes and hired new teachers! How refreshing to see there are still bosses out there who care! I will miss him!!!! This year, I made a ton of progress with piano by quitting dance… I just need to do some other form of exercise now or go back… I actually said “No” to tutoring which I have never done. Saying “No” to something was a milestone for me. I wanted more time for me and less tutoring other people’s kids… This is the year that we got a grant to start a school garden. I was denied this opportunity at the last school I was at… My mom started a new job after quitting the job she had since I was in third grade. My brother and his girlfriend moved in together. My neighbor of over two decades passed away. My bestie gave birth to her second child. And that my mom started hiking with me. What is next? I can hardly wait to find out what unfolds in the next year!

What unexpected things happened in the last year in your life? Do the unknown parts of life excite you too?

 

 

Wheel of Life

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Monetary success is not success. Career success is not success. Life, someone that loves you, giving to others, doing something that makes you feel complete and full. That is success. And it isn’t dependent on anyone else. – James Avery

It’s another long weekend which means time to blog!!!!!!!!! 🙂

pooh smallest things

My latest link to share: You Won’t Find Your Calling in Ego-Based Learning

The premise: The best learning isn’t the required content of school or what we study for career success. The deepest learning comes from the learning with intrinsic value… Something I believe I don’t put enough time into because pursuing career and monetary success comes much easier to me.

Things that remind me of impermanence lately:

  • The announcement that my principal is moving on to greener pastures. I will be forever grateful for what he did to create a happy work environment! We are all worried of possible impending changes…
  • My sister’s boss became Fire Department Chief only to pass away a week later! Goes to show you that career success means so little.
  • My BFF’s oldest turned 3 last Tuesday and we had a big birthday party for her on Saturday. Time changes everything.

Somehow, we have to make time for the things that have intrinsic value to us… What do you do to make time for those worthwhile parts of your life outside of everyday work? Does setting boundaries between Work Life and Outside of Work Life come easily to you?

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Grandpa Pushed Grandma out of the way Before Getting run Over Himself. Meet ‘The Hero’ — Kindness Blog

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A man was severely injured after being struck by an alleged drunk driver. Max Green, 85, of Pima, was nearly across the street with his wife, Nathalene Green, 83, when he saw the van coming and bravely pushed Nathalene out of the way, sacrificing himself to save her. Nathalene got knocked to the ground, but […]

via Grandpa Pushed Grandma out of the way Before Getting run Over Himself. Meet ‘The Hero’ — Kindness Blog