One rainy night on a date at a Thai restaurant about three years ago, my date asked me, “What do you want to do with your life?” After thinking for a bit, I replied, “That is a very good question since I have everything I want in my life right now. I suppose what I want is to become a better teacher.” He responded that sometimes he felt like a fake at his job and all he really wanted was to become a better person. I think that he had low self esteem to think of himself as “not good enough” but I also think he was on to something. Here we both were, I, in my late 20s and he in his early 30s with nothing in our lives but our careers. There’s a sort of emptiness in knowing I’ve devoted my entire life to a job.
So I’m going to stop teaching for at least two years while I pursue other parts of life simply because I have discovered I am not very good at multitasking and often become easily overwhelmed when I am doing too much at the same time, which is often.
Yesterday, I had a really good time attending a sustainability seminar at a intentional community co-op. I learned about gray water systems,
electric cars, drip irrigation, gardening, composting, and furoshiki:
We did yoga, meditation, ate a delicious meal and also split into teams and went on a fun neighborhood scavenger hunt. The hunt for clues took us through attics, cellars, up trees, and just about everywhere!
I also met a Caucasian African-American. Haha!
Anyhow, I’ve decided, I’d like to join this community in their solar-powered Craftsman Bungalows.
There’s even an old piano in one of the houses! I intend to play it!
I’ve decided that I am going to find an evening job and use my days to help out in the community, study and play piano. It’s a vacation of sorts, but it’s not, because I am making time and energy to invest in my career as well as in my personal physical and and mental well-being. Like me, the intentional community eats organically and enjoys home-cooked meals. They have home-cooked meals at least five nights per week. Several members talked amongst themselves about a recent backpacking trip. Anyone who enjoys being outdoors, has a hammock in the backyard, and shares in household duties seems pretty to likable to me! 🙂
I won’t be able to move until summer, but here’s to finding balance! …If there is such a thing! (Another one of my dates told me it was eerie because I seemed too balanced. Haha!).
I know I will miss the wildflowers blooming in the desert horizons where joshua trees walk and fall, but I also know that I want to explore life outside of my career, meet new people and have new experiences, so after a year of being back in my hometown, I have found that little has changed here other than friends moving away…And as much as I love my home, I yearn for new experiences. I cannot afford to travel right now due to tuition expenses and student loans, but I can live in a new (affordable) place where sustainable living is practiced and put aside money for travels. The place is close enough that I may even visit home often, but I do not know that I will because I know that it seems everyone I know is always away working. I am going to go back to my career because I hope to save up enough to take care of my parents one day when they become too old to work. There are a ton of hiking trails near my future home I will be exploring, which will satiate my thirst for adventure for a bit. Here’s to new friends, new doors opening, and at least two years of spending the day time at home instead of at work!