A Special Saturday

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Last night, I sat at the piano for the first time in months since I got my most recent job. I couldn’t remember the names of the notes, but somehow my fingers knew where to go… Muscle memory…

I had the hardest time getting started this morning. Thankfully, it is Saturday. I laid around a lot today until finally I called a friend around lunch to see if she wanted to meet up and catch up. It was just what I needed to get my lazy butt off the couch to throw in some laundry and then go meet her. As we parted in the parking lot, a few hours later, she said to me, “You aren’t one of Those; are you? One of those who get everything you want and then you don’t want it any more.” At that moment, I realized, I was “one of those.” It’s why I’ve been so mobile and why I keep fantasizing about visiting far off lands doing so many different things with my life…and even upon visiting, it still isn’t enough. “You have learn to live with discomfort and remember to take care of yourself,” my younger friend advised. And I realized, I have a lot to be grateful for in my current state in life. My younger friend is always full of wisdom despite her youth….

On the way home, I stopped by at a local shipping store to mail out some items. When I had been in college, I had worked for the happy couple who owned the store. I saw a clerk and the woman owner present. I asked her where her husband was and was greeted with the news, “He passed away.” The next several minutes was spent in her arms as she cried. I was in shock and she apologized, “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you the bad news.” I recalled that before I had gone into the store, I had looked up their hours on Yelp in the morning and was surprised to see a lot of bad reviews about poor customer service from a woman in the store, which had surprised me because they were always such a happy couple and very accommodating. Looking back Β at the dates of the reviews, I realize what a lot of stress she must be under running the store by herself now that her husband is gone. They had moved up from Orange County to Los Angeles County and purchased this store as their retirement fund. Such is life… Unpredictable. I am very saddened by the news of his passing. He was one of those people whose energy could make you smile any time of day or night… That was just his personality.

In just a few hours, I went from spending my morning laying around on the living room couch to so many thoughts and emotions. Nothing in my life has really changed… And yet, maybe it has….

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4 responses »

  1. i liked the b/w photo of the tanks and tv from the abandoned site we visited.
    sometimes we dont notice the change in ourselves for we are way too close.
    sometimes, i feel, we think too much about life and not about just living.
    for me, this was the first saturday in months that after morning chores, i spent on the couch.
    dont fear change. fear no change.

    • I’ve been fearing no change for quite some time now. I want it to come so badly, which is why my friend’s comment paired with unexpected loss made me feel a bit guilty for wanting change so badly when I have everything so good! I guess change will happen when it happens and I need to just relax and let things play out in its time… Take things one breath at a time…

      Thanks! I sent you a link to the rest of the photos via G+ about a week ago….

      • i get email notification when you post new photos. πŸ™‚
        i think you have done a lot of changing or maybe a better word is fluctuation. and change maybe subtle.

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