For me, Sunday mornings is the sound of gunshots coming from the nearby lake view range paired with golden sunlight. Hearing that sound on Sundays reminds me of spending my childhood with my dad on the lake fishing. It evokes images in my mind of people taking the day off and just enjoying themselves on a calming Sunday.
I’m tired today. Several neighbors were partying loudly all night and I stayed up until at least 1 AM answering travel questions from my mom who seems to have caught some of my travel bug. I spent much of the morning just fantasizing about more travel again. As usual, I’m way behind on my list of To Do’s for Sunday.
The friend who I met up with for lunch yesterday has all of these plans to enroll in graduate school, for this certification and that certification, for a house and a job in Orange County when she’s more settled down to the location of the school district she’ll work in, the city she’ll live in and the type of dog she’ll own. She tells me how she has achieved all of our goals thus far and can check them off when she looks back at what she’s written. I felt a little bad as I sat listening to her because I just don’t feel that driven… I told her, I’m done with grad school and I’m working the perfect school already… Now, all I want to do is to travel… Like anyone else, she tells me to look forward to summer vacation and to quit teaching summer school.
It’s been almost 24 hours since lunch with her, and thinking back on the conversation and of all of the hours I’ve spent in the last few years fantasizing about travel compared to actually traveling, I realize that summer vacation, if I had one, is just not enough for me because I do have goals too. I have goals to develop my yoga, Spanish, and Chinese and those are just not things you can learn in a summer!
And yes, I do have the perfect job with a lot of room for development as well as great income for the retirement of my parents and myself. All of these schools I’ve worked at and all I wanted was to work with/ under someone who actually pushed innovative educational ideals rather than the outdated educational norms of most schools and an acceptance for the population I teach and I’ve finally found it along with a state-of-the-art facility. It is within close proximity to family and my employers seem to love me thus far. I’ve been paying off student loans from grad school like crazy since getting this job and should be completely done paying off grad school loans by 2017. I couldn’t ask for more! And yet, I have this itch, this wanderlust! How long will I soothe this wanderlust with local photography and exploring before I can’t resist the urge to explore the world again?! Am I just endlessly attracted to the stimulation of constant novelty? Only time will reveal the answer to these questions. For now, I should learn to sit with discomfort rather than scratching at itches. I cannot keep getting what I want and then changing my external surroundings just for a sense of novelty and adventure (or can I…Dopamine! 🙂 ?) Everything I want to learn and explore can be done in very small doses on calming Sundays and summer vacations, if I had one… Because family is important and I want to have the time and financial ability to take care of them. And there are many things to learn better from home such as piano, leadership and management. It’s better to learn to change internally rather than externally…to live for today rather than the day I can travel (or insert word of your choice). There’s plenty of time to reach for my goals because Rome wasn’t built in a day. Gosh! It “itches”!!!! It occurs to me how short life is and how renewable a resource money is but not time…. Then, there’s down to earth blogs like Wandering Earl’s most recent post about how even being a career traveler is a routine…Not all fun and sitting on beaches as some people portray it to be… Just maybe if I can convince the new intern to take summer school off my plate, I can live the best of all worlds: a job that isn’t just a job, it’s a vision unfolding… public education reforming the best it can under an enthusiastic new leadership… proximity to my friends and family… and time to travel and learn new things.