Thirty minutes until the coffee shop closes tonight. I’m sitting here people watching and recalling a memory…
Only a couple of weeks ago, I had suggested to Scott we go to Whistler’s Coffee and play a board game over coffee. He had brought a book with him and had wanted to sit at the fire in The Yard House with his book and beer and had invited me along. I had not brought a book with me and had no interest in beer. We discovered that the coffee shop had already closed for the night. “What about laser tag?” I suggested. He liked this idea. About a week later, he texted me with the words, “What are you doing tomorrow night? Do you want to go play some laser tag?” The following evening began with arcade games and laser tag and ended with an an invite from him, “How about some pool at my place?” Against my better judgment, I followed him to his house where we played records, tossed the dog toy around as a very happy weiner dog fetched it and played pool. Scott gave good tips on how to play the game and gave me a chance to practice. The game ended and we sat down on his couch close together so that there was no space between us. We carried on casual conversation on various topics, but our body language was anything but casual. I knew that Scott was working up the nerve to kiss me and I stayed close to him, as if to give him permission to do so. When he finally kissed me, it seemed the kiss would never end and that we were falling deeper and deeper into each other’s arms.
That was two weeks ago. I haven’t seen him since that night. I think he must have changed his mind about pursuing anything with me. After the kiss, he had said, “I knew you were special since I laid eyes on you. I like you a lot but the timing of this is off: I’m moving soon.”
“When are you moving?” I had inquired.
“In a few months.”
“That’s plenty of time for us to get to know each other and you aren’t moving too far away…”
“When I fall for someone, I usually fall hard.”
“But we don’t even know each other.”
“I know,” he acknowledged in the darkness.
Maybe that was his way of telling me he wasn’t going to pursue anything else… That he wasn’t about to commit to this because he didn’t want to fall hard again…. I don’t know. I do know that the thoughts of him and his little dog still bring a smile to my face and in order to resist the urge to invite him to waste more of my time (and more of my heart), I find myself finding other things to do… Other things like wrapping Christmas gifts, tying them with grand Martha Stewart-inspired bows and decorating the house with the warm light of a Christmas tree. I can’t help but wonder what Scott will get his dog for Christmas, but that thought is one I push back as I busy myself with holiday happenings.