It’s my last day of a quiet one week vacation and I haven’t done a single thing the whole week… And you know what? Maybe I haven’t gone anywhere or seen anyone but I’m OK with that. Like it or not, it was much needed rest. That’s right! I chose naps over turkey and shopping and will do it again any day! My pumpkin sits here unopened. On my days off, I did what I could not do on work days: go outside and enjoy the sunshine instead of being in my office, take naps… Yes, I am lazy and I am perfectly fine with that! Sometimes, rest is gold. I used to and sometimes still do feel such shame about needing rest but now I have learned that the body needs what it needs when it needs it and it’s best to take each day as it comes with whatever energy we wake up with each morning. I am grateful for whatever energy I am bestowed! Life is beautiful with or without energy!
Sharing some sights I saw in the golden sunlight:
Yellow and orange leaves 🍁 of autumn on a tree in the golden hour before sunset Sunset with silhouette of trees framing the sun beyond the western hillsMural of golden poppies, succulents, a woman with waves of blue hair and blue eyes and an animal skullSucculents (aloe?) with shrubs, and trees with sky lit by golden sunset in the background
I’ve been thinking… They say that life is about relationships… But how do we create a strong relationship? I have created a formula! I invite you to let me know your thoughts!
DIPTHF– A Mnemonic for Remembering the Formula for a Strong Relationship or Personal Connection
Duration x Intensity or intimacy x Proximity x Trust x Humor x Frequency = strength of relationship/ connection
How deeply are you dipping your toe into the social world? Is there depth (or DIPTHF) to your relationships?
Duration– How long did you know this person? Depth is more easily increased if a duration of time has passed.
Intimacy– Must be paired with the emotional connectivity. You can be as intimate as you want to be with another person but if the other person doesn’t get you on an emotional level, there is no intimacy; and vice versa. Are you on the same wavelength? Is there empathy and validation? Do you see each other? When both people are on the same emotional wavelength and share intimacy, the letter “I” in this mnemonic stands for “intensity.”
Proximity-There must be opportunity to spend time together whether it be in-person, online or on the phone. Physical touch such as hugging or high fives and the unique imprint of your voice and face all leave lasting bonding impressions. Oxytocin must be released for bonding to occur.
Trust– Pay attention to both your rationale and your gut instinct. What is your body telling you? Is this a person you both feel and think you can trust? You can have everything lined up for a great relationship, but if there is no trust, there is no relationship.
Humor/ Play–We must have fun together! For this to happen, there must be an element of shared humor. Shared humor typically happens more easily spontaneously when there is a shared culture such as shared company (or other group) culture, language, shared gender culture, shared generational culture, etc. because you don’t have to explain inside jokes. It’s much easier to be on the same emotional wavelength when you have a shared sense of humor. Laughter is a bonding tool that relaxes us by circulating endorphins.
Frequency– How frequently do you consistently enjoy spending time together? Consistency and frequency are most sustainable when initiation to spend time together involves multiple participants; in that it isn’t one-sided.Frequency and consistency combined create familiarity. F is for frequency; when combined with consistency, for familiarity.
Shine Bright Like a Smile 