Author Archives: sweetspontaneous

About sweetspontaneous

Drop me a line in the comments section... I would love to get to know you! I'm the author of the following blogs: https://foodtrek.wordpress.com/ https://fallingstarsdusktodawn.wordpress.com/

The Upside

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Uniquely flavored low calorie ice cream! — foodtrek

Happy Sunday Funday!

This week I did a quick posting on my food blog and will head to the store today to find more unique food items to post! Feel free to subscribe if you haven’t already! 🙂

https://foodtrek.wordpress.com/2020/07/25/uniquely-flavored-low-calorie-ice-cream/

Now that traveling is out of the question more than ever, we should really travel/ explore with our palettes!

Yesterday, I went for a much needed hike:

It was my first non-solo hike since the pandemic hit. We drove in separate cars, social distanced and wore masks.

Today, I am attending my first Zoom party: bring your own drink… Last weekend, I went to a virtual movie night and watched Tremors with a group of strangers online. Today, my bestie texted me that her toddlers were playing pretend and pretending to social distance and meet on Zoom! Talk about “new normal”!

I have a bit of Sunday blues going on today since it’s back to work tomorrow so I will be trying to think of ways to spice up my days this week. In the mean time, I leave you with this fun way a senior home is trying to keep morale up while quarantining: https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/07/13/890569181/at-u-k-care-home-residents-brilliantly-recreate-iconic-album-coversv

Just For a Moment

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In times of uncertainty, there’s the tightness between each breath held…between the layers of tissues of each muscle held and then released… The rhythmic movement of each intercostal as we breathe in and out, expanding and contracting. In this moment, there’s blood coursing through your veins and pumping through your heart. As you go about the mundane tasks that take up your attention today, stop for a moment and feel this rhythm of life coursing through you.

Perhaps in the moment, you’re hearing a lawn mower…birds chirping….yelling….crying….traffic…water dripping….laughter… silence… Whatever it be, if you hear anything, give thanks for this gift of hearing….

Perhaps you’re inhaling the intoxicating scent of a rose or the stench of a passing skunk… Whatever it is you may smell, give thanks to the gift of smell….

Stop for a moment and feel the muscles in your face as the corners of your mouth lift, even if it is just for a moment.

Forlorn Friday

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Safety is a perception. I had begun to feel safe at work even though nothing had really changed since the incidents last week. With my blinders on, I saw only that my students and staff were happy.

Suddenly, early this morning a coworker told me they needed to speak to me urgently in private. This coworker explained they had just received a message from a family member they had spent a few hours with indoors earlier in the week. This family member had tested positive for COVID-19. We immediately sent this coworker away to be tested, advising them to self quarantine for the next two weeks.

I was further saddened at the end of the day when another coworker approached me in private to tell me not to gossip, though I had told no one about the events that had unfolded.

Now, realization dawned on me as I made a mental note to myself about the various staff members that had quietly disappeared in the last two weeks. Had the staff members working closely with them also been told not to “gossip”?

Later in the afternoon, our state governor issued a mandate that all schools in counties that had not cleared specific safety benchmarks for 14 consecutive days offer only virtual instruction. We were then sent an email from our school leaders that our county had not met the health guidelines for schools to be open for 14 consecutive days; they would find out by Sunday evening if we may remain open for the last two weeks of summer school; that we should expect to show up to work on Monday but to continue to check our emails for any updates during the weekend.

Aside from constantly checking my email this weekend, I will be making plans for the next week for both virtual and in-person instruction. While the transition will be easy for me, whatever happens because I already have students working online, I cannot help but wonder how well students and their families will transition. I can not help but wonder if I will ever trust any employer again. Is this how our essential workers are feeling right now? It must be much worse for them as conditions are often much unsafer…

Fragility

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Another friend passed on… and a very close friend and family member caught COVID last week. He posted this on his Facebook page over the weekend and encouraged people to repost. Thought I would share it here with all of you… I hope you are all staying safe and stopping to cherish the small things in life!!!

I want to start this by saying I am genuinely wishing everyone well. I know it’s been a rough year for everyone, and it doesn’t look like we are out of the woods yet, but i have faith we can find a place where we can get through this together.I’m sharing this to sort of give my, i guess perspective on 2020 and more specifically with this pandemic.

So on July 1st, I tested positive for COVID19. I can tell you it sucked, like really sucked, and it happened so quick. On the previous Sunday, I could feel a headache coming on. By Monday morning, I felt like I was floating, dizzy, and honestly steps away from physically passing out. At the bare minimum, for me, COVID-19 was like getting over a cold: sniffles, tired, lack of smell taste. At its worst, it could be best described as the following:- Having a huge migraine headache that no pain pills could solve- Feeling like you caught a bad flu- Feeling like you just got hit by a bus- Feeling like you having an allergic reaction in your lungs. Full body aches, full nausea, super light headed dizzy, full body chills, bad headaches, vomiting, unable to sleep because of body pains, can’t smell or taste anything, sometimes holding down vomit, sweating, chills, tightness in my chest that sometimes felt like burning, painful sneezes, and headache compounding coughs. My days felt like a haze, where I really couldn’t function. I would alternate from sitting at my desk chair and try to get comfortable or lay in bed and try to get comfortable, in a 14×14 square that was my new home for a bit. My highlights were sleeping for about 2 hours before I woke up to aches and pains. It definitely sucked. This basically lasted close to 7 days before symptoms really let up, and I could return to some ‘normalcy’. Luckily for me, I never felt like it might get worse than that. 14 days later, I can smell somewhat, and there’s this semi burning, semi tightness in my chest. I fear my lungs now resemble that of a smoker, on top of the asthma I already have. But overall, I feel okay.

Just for the record… We were playing it safe. Wearing mask, staying at home, washing hands more often. SO how did I get it then? Honestly, don’t know. I’ve sat down and really thought about this. More likely I got it at work. Quite literally, we had just returned to work, and 7 days later I tested positive.

This, oddly enough, wasn’t my first scare with COVID19. Earlier in the year, my mother tested positive. We did the 14 day quarantine, which was rough on us all. It felt like a situation where we were skating on thin ice. We all had to play it careful, not just for her sake, but for our own sake, and the sake of others.It felt like getting the rug pulled from under you. We all played our part, stayed inside, while she did her part as a nurse on the frontlines, only to possibly… don’t know. It was just scary. We all had to get tested, even though we all felt fine, it felt like someone was going to tell us we might be next. It just felt so unfair. You’re left with a feeling of abandonment. They don’t check you into a hospital room, they don’t give you any medication. They send you home and you’re told to stay there. That lack of solutions or answers only leads to a sense of anxiety. Then the realization kicks in. There have been 10s of thousands before you who probably felt the same. Luckily, we came out the other side of this situation without too much harm. We had been treating this COVID-19 situation seriously, but it just became so real for us all as a family.

A month passed, then I tested positive. Again, we are back on that same thin ice, or maybe we never really left.

What COVID-19 has shown me more than anything, is how fragile life really is. How literally one day you can be making plans for the summer, the next day you’re worried if you’re going to even last the week. It really has allowed me to see how precious life really is, and not to take the time you have for granted.

And the cliche, let little things go, spend more time focusing on self improvement and my dreams. Tell the people you love that you love them, and take time to appreciate them. Sign of for that class I’ve always wanted, take some time to draw, etc.

I feel like my life was put in danger for work. While I’m not advocating quitting working, definitely put in perspective that my paycheck at the expense of my life is… yea. I’m fortunate enough to have a job and fortunate to work from home. I realize not everyone is that fortunate. This balance between is a tricky one, one I definitely am not sure how to feel about, especially as things are changing towards ‘reopening’. I would recommend playing it safe and smart when possible, if possible. I find it frustrating at times seeing how people treat this pandemic so lightly. But I’ve moved on from trying to prove its authenticity. I actively try not to get caught up in the futility of someone else’s denial. I definitely don’t wish COVID-19 on anyone though, but my time is better spent elsewhere.

Stay Positive, Stay safe, stay healthy, take some time to appreciate what you do have, and those you do have in your life. Hope all is well with you all. We are doing the best we can here in a time that constantly changes and still remains uncertain.Feel free to ask any questions if you’re curious about COVID-19 and symptoms, but I expect google would be a better resource.

Disclaimer: I don’t share this to imply my situation is any worse or better than anyone else’s situation right now. Nor am I implying my situation is unique or special in some way. Nor do I wish to come off as trying to preach about how we should be handling the situation. Just some perspective from a person who experienced COVID19 first hand.

Packed

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Last week, there was a fire near the homes of some of my coworkers. One of them described to me trying to decide what to bring if there was an evacuation and deciding to make two trips: pets on one trip and then returning for the essentials. I didn’t think anything of this conversation all week.

This morning, as I lay around having a lazy Saturday scrolling on my phone, I hear the sound of many sirens passing. There are sounds of fire trucks and helicopters. I ignore the sounds. Then, there’s a knock on the door informing me to be ready for evacuation because there’s a fire nearby.

Although, I do not think the fire will come closer, I went ahead and packed a small backpack in case. In it, I have placed:

-a comfy dress

-hand-me-down Abercrombie sweats.

-a comfy hand-me-down cotton tee

-2 changes of underwear …I should add feminine hygiene items to this just in case…

-a bra

-a Patagonia pocket jacket I keep handy when hiking (one of my favorite gifts from my brother)

-my work laptop and charger (because I don’t want to have to pay for such an expensive item if it gets damaged)

-my personal laptop and charger

-a tiny notebook with blank pages (for notes, journaling, sketching)

-a pen (see above)

-a small packet of tissues

-a charger for my phone

-A pack of massage balls (in case of muscle tension)

And that’s it… If I have to evacuate, I would grab this pack along with my cell phone, wallet, and keys. If I still have time, maybe my tiny airplant house plant (my living companion) and my Meddy Teddy (my non-living companion, a posable teddy for teaching yoga). …Maybe a bottle for water and some fruit for a snack, but those seem like things I can replace if I bring my wallet…

I could also grab a mask 😷 and maybe nail clippers because my nails are in dire need of attention…

What would you pack if you had to evacuate your home?

What do you think of my essentials? Practical enough or did I miss anything?

What do you think our lists say about us?

Pioneers

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Today was the third day of summer school and I have to say that it went perfectly. Kids and staff worked hard all day and all seemed happy.

Then, one of my aides and I returned to the classroom after walking the last student to the curb for pick up. Another aide greeted us with, “Did you hear the news? Liz (names have been changed) just told me that Sean caught the coronavirus.”

“What?! Sean was just in this room this morning!”

“Sean’s eyes were so red just like my mother’s eyes when she caught it!”

We then proceeded to scrub everything down in a frenzy of panic vowing we would not return the next day, mourning how none of our special needs kids were able to keep their masks on. They grab our hands and ask and give hugs frequently. One of my students had even run away from home to go to the playground at the park, not understanding why it was closed. This week, we had to block students who tried to go the school playgrounds.

We had been surveyed before our school reopened to see who would be willing to return. They admitted to me they had agreed to return to school for fear of not having a job to return to and I admitted to them I had agreed to return because I didn’t want them to be working alone.

We each returned home and showered immediately. I also tossed my clothes in the washer and washed my clothes in hot water

Later that day, in our virtual all staff meeting, we were told that the rumors were not true, that yes, it’s scary to be the first school reopening but we are “pioneers” because come Fall, all of the schools will be reopened according to the news. I marvelled at how our new leaders were so selective with their words but could not help recalling the same word used in this very sarcastic Opinion article. We were relieved to find out that no one had actually tested positive for the virus, though there are those who are in home with possible symptoms.

I cannot help but think how I have possible symptoms everyday but I am not going to go crazy assuming I have the virus because I am prone to frequent headaches and have sore throats in the morning if I wake up thirsty. The list of COVID symptoms is ridiculously long and I would never go anywhere and run out of leave if I reported I had any of the symptoms everyday from the list. Then, I would really be out of a job.

We were all relieved to find out no one had actually tested positive…. I was even a bit ashamed to contribute to the panic. As if the roller coaster ride wasn’t enough, one of my co-workers returned home from the vet to find out that the pet would have to be “put to sleep.”

Sigh! That’s life. Tomorrow we’ll be back at work with our tequila-scented hand sanitizers donated from a local winery. Stay safe, Y’all!

#FunnyMemes #Humor – A Zebra’s Life

Please

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I live alone. For the first time in the year that I have lived in NorCal, my boyfriend is visiting me. I have been waiting all year for him to come visit but it’s been hell. I so wanted to see him all year and he finally came after my parents gave him money for picking me up to visit them because it saved them a trip and no one trusts my car. Are all men such helpless babies?! He said he would pick me up from my mom’s in LA County in SoCal to come back up here at 7am on Wednesday. He doesn’t arrive until 3pm so we don’t get back to my place until around 10pm. On Thursday, I am going to work and he says he’s hungry, so we stop to get some food. He wants Indian food. I buy it and then he complains he has to have brown rice. I don’t have any cooked and need to go to work so I call a Thai place so he can get some cooked brown rice. Later at work, he argues with me about how I am organizing… I had brought him along because he offered to help and he comes to argue. On Friday, he is still sleeping when I leave for work, so I leave telling him I can come back for lunch or he can join me at school and we can pick food up. I work the whole day. He never showed up. I get home starving because I had been waiting for him. He is at my kitchen sink with every dry towel wet because he cannot wash dishes without making a huge mess. He is washing dishes from his lunch, so I am pissed. He apologizes explaining the miscommunication and makes me lunch and asks me to take him to my work so he can help. I tell him I already worked all day and am tired. He asks for my help with his workout routine and makes dinner. Later that night, he clogs the toilet. Today is Saturday and he is at Home Depot buying a snake to unclog the toilet. We both have to go to use the bathroom. He doesn’t want to leave until Sunday afternoon. Is it terrible that I have wanted him to not be here every single day he has been here?! Sure, there are moments when his company is enjoyable, but I am seriously questioning my sanity…

I am venting and may delete this post later…

My feelings are so mixed: grateful to have him visit, guilty for making him feel like an inconvenience and anger at myself for thinking him visiting would be a good idea.

He is the nicest guy I have dated as all others I dated have been jerks. This guy is not a jerk, but he’s a freakin’ mess.

Pandemic Pandemonium (Inside)

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For as long as I have known all of you out there in xanga/ WordPress land, you have been a comfort to me! Thank you!

In a few days, the school where I currently work at will open its doors again to offer both on site and online courses after several months of only virtual classes. I have to say that I have definitely been a wreck the last couple weeks. I went down to see my family and my boyfriend to enjoy one last time with them before work. It was the first time I had seen them since Christmas and the first time I broke the social distancing protocols. It felt good to see everyone but I was also very afraid that I could be asymptomatic and probably won’t see them for a while. In short, I was much too anxious to fully enjoy the trip and left early to prep for the start of summer school before Monday. My boyfriend came up with me but we haven’t been getting along ( he’s trying to make up by making dinner right now) so things aren’t going as well as I would like them to go.

This week, I found out through the Instagram post in this photo, that a woman whom I admired has passed on at age 68. I had read about and met with her and it had changed my life. She left teaching and started three non-profits which opened my eyes to see that I have the power to do the same. I don’t have to be bound to any one path. That’s when I thought I left teaching but went back as a favor and now regret it a little because I feel a bit taken advantage of but things happen for a reason (I did pay off my student loans, met some incredible families…I think this current experience has taught me a lot about life and having better personal boundaries).

RIP: May your light shine on!

If you would like to read a happier post, please visit my food blog: https://foodtrek.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/258/

Words

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Tonight, I feel like sharing some words with you, but I have nothing new. I will simply share a poem I wrote two months ago and a couple of songs I heard tonight as I put things away for the night with music playing in the background. These two songs by one of my favorite artists really struck a chord with me.

Title: Can You Hear Me?

I am the voice of a child.
I am the voice of a woman….
And of a man…
I am the voice of a human being.
I am the voice of the mute
And of the thunderous….
Of the tumultuous
And the tranquil…
Of rationale
And of intuition.
I am the voice of the silent rock laying along the riverbanks.
I am the voice of the running river. I am the voice of the tree shading the riverbank…
I am the voice of the fallen tree upstream…
And of the fish carried by the currents…
I am the roar of the bear consuming the fish…
My voice is unborn, infantile and yet ancient.
My voice is infinite and yet finite….
Solo, yet multitudinous.
Can You Hear me?
I am the voice of the stars.
I am of the voice of darkness…
Of Day
And of Night
Of a Woman
And of a Child.


When I heard this song tonight being streamed on my Spotify radio, I thought that for sure it was written for George Floyd. I looked it up and it was actually tragically written in 2016 for another man: Eric Garner. History always repeats itself.

The next song that came on also brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of all of the domestic violence victims bound to their homes right now during this pandemic, especially this beautiful 14-year old girl who tried to leave home when her father threatened her life but the police returned her to her home and she did not survive: Romina. Please give this beautiful uplifting song a listen: